Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
