i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize