Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
