Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Randomize
