i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
