I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
