I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
