HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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