Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
