why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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