i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
