Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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