Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
