i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Randomize
