She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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