i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
