we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
