dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
