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sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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