she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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