Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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