i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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