he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
