my shit smells like andre
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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