Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
