My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize