Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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