We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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