Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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