doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
