The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
