I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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