those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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