dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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