Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
