I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
