yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
cat food counts as protein by the way
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
