Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
