i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
