Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My dick has a subreddit
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
