i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
