pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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