you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize