you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
