I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
