Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
