there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
