Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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