two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
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