Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
