I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
