I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize