and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
