so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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