3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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