the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize