This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
