My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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