your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
