Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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