I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I touched a dick in church today
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
