Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
